L01 · Lens
Dichotomy of control
Sort every element into up to me (judgements, intentions, actions) and not up to me (outcomes, others, the past, fortune); invest only in the first.
Use: Worry, frustration, helplessness, outcome fixation.
Boundary: Misused as resignation; the dichotomy demands full effort on what is yours.
Cues
Showing 20 of 28 cues
“Excellence withers without an adversary. It is not what you endure that matters, but how you endure it.”
“As you move forward along the path of reason, people will stand in your way. They will never be able to keep you from doing what’s sound, so don’t let them knock out your goodwill for them. Keep a steady watch on both fronts, not only for well-based judgments and actions, but also for gentleness with those who would obstruct our path or create other difficulties. For getting angry is also a weakness, just as much as abandoning the task or surrendering under panic.”
“You must set your hands to tasks which you can finish or at least hope to finish, and avoid those which get bigger as you proceed and do not cease where you had intended.”
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own ...”
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.”
“You shouldn’t give circumstances the power to rouse anger, for they don’t care at all.”
“It is in his power not to wish for what he has not, but cheerfully to employ what comes to him.”
“In short, the wise man looks to the purpose of all actions, not their consequences; beginnings are in our power but Fortune judges the outcome, and I do not grant her verdict upon me.”
“Seek not for events to happen as you wish but wish events to happen as they do and your life will go smoothly.”
“Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer, in my mind I am free.”
“If you can, show them the better way. If you cannot, remember that this is why you have the gift of kindness. The Gods too are kind to such people, and in their benevolence even help them achieve some ends - health, wealth, fame. You can do it too. Or tell me - who is stopping you?”
“Is the trigger serving me or am I serving the trigger?”
“Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice.”
“A man's shortcomings are taken from his epoch; his virtues and greatness belong to himself.”
“I have to die. If it is now, well then I die now; if later, then now I will take my lunch, since the hour for lunch has arrived - and dying I will tend to later.”
“No man is free who is not master of himself.”
QuoteSelf-discipline and impulse controlSmartphone and notification distraction2 more related links
Lenses
Modules
“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us and some things are not up to us.”
“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight.”
“The work of changing - indeed, the work of living - cannot be done on one’s behalf by another person ... We can learn important lessons from those who have gone before us ... But, ultimately, each of us faces a unique configuration of challenges and a very personal responsibility for the choices we make in moving onward with our lives. We have only partial information, limited understanding, and imperfect control.”