F04 · Fear and Avoidance
Fear of failure and error
Holding back from attempts, launches or skill development because mistakes feel humiliating.
Cues
Showing 11 of 11 cues
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”
The Stoic archer and preferred indifferents
Like an archer who controls his training, aim and release but not the wind or target once the arrow leaves the bow, we control our health and work habits but not genes, illness or outcomes; health and wealth are preferred indifferents, but worth lies in what we do with the situation.
“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.”
“In short, the wise man looks to the purpose of all actions, not their consequences; beginnings are in our power but Fortune judges the outcome, and I do not grant her verdict upon me.”
“Suppose that I become dissatisfied with my habitual self, or feel that there are areas of experience or self-understanding which I cannot reach. One way of exploring these is to remove myself from present surroundings and see what emerges. This is not without its dangers. Any form of new organization or integration within the mind has to be preceded by some degree of disorganization.”
“The capacity to bear anxiety is important for the individual’s self-realization and for his conquest of his environment. Every person experiences continual shocks and threats to his existence; indeed, self-actualization occurs only at the price of moving ahead despite such shocks. This indicates the constructive use of anxiety.”
“What I think is that a good life is one hero journey after another. Over and over again, you are called to the realm of adventure, you are called to new horizons. Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, in the fulfillment or the fiasco. There’s always the possibility of a fiasco. But there’s also the possibility of bliss.”
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked.”
Survivorship bias: the tale of forgotten failures
Survivorship bias skews judgement when we study only visible winners and ignore the silent graveyard of failures who used the exact same traits or strategies.
Fixed versus growth mindset
Two basic mindsets shape our lives: a fixed mindset treats ability as static and avoids challenge, while a growth mindset treats ability as expandable through effort, feedback and persistence.